nessataleweaver (nessataleweaver) wrote,

FANMIX: She is tomorrow, and I am today (John/Cameron, Terminator:The Sarah Connor Chronicles)

WARNINGS: spoilers for both seasons of TSCC, including the very end of the finale, and one song has NSFW lyrics.

I actually made this mix ages - as in years ago - but for some reason, I never posted it anywhere (probably because I was thinking about using several of the songs on other mixes at the time). waywardmixes has yet again prompted me to get the lead out! (I've got at least three other mixes that are not-quite-finished that I'm going to post, too!)

zip file containing front and back covers, tracklisting, and songs HERE at mediafire

J-C today front

J-C today back

(explanation for waywardmixes and tracklisting under the cut)

Explanation for waywardmixes

If you're not familiar with the Terminator franchise... I'm pretty sure you've been sealed up in a tomb for the last couple of decades. However, here's the basics on the show.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles was a TV show that ran 2008-2009. Lena Headley (currently Cersei Lannister on Game of Thrones) played Sarah Connor. John Connor was played by Thomas Dekker (I saw him most recently in the Nightmare on Elm Street remake), & Cameron was played by sci-fi goddess Summer Glau (I think she's currently on season 2 of Arrow?)

It picked up several years after Terminator 2:Judgment Day, following the now-teenage John Connor & his mother Sarah, after they found out that Skynet - & Judgment Day - hasn't been stopped, only postponed. They find this out when John's friend at his new school - a lovely, bright girl named Cameron - turns out to be a Terminator. One that General John Connor himself captured, re-programmed & sent back in time to protect his younger self. It's not a coincidence that Cameron's first words to John as herself, rather than her 'undercover' persona, are the same words that his father first said to his mother: 'Come with me if you want to live.'

Sarah, John & Cameron escape their Terminator pursuers by using a time machine built by resistance members to jump forward in time to 2008. They are eventually joined by another time-travelling member of the Resistance, Derek Reese - John's uncle. Both he & Sarah are hostile & mistrustful of Cameron, & neither can understand John's friendship or connection with 'a scary robot' (as another character puts it). But for John, the coltan skeleton & computer-chip brain pale besides the security Cameron offers; John knows that this ally will never betray him, & this companion will never leave him, not even through death (the fact that she's also smoking hot doesn't hurt). John & Cameron were growing into their tentatively strengthening friendship with some bonus UST, when season 1 was cut short by the Writer's Strike, leaving the show on a cliffhanger - the Connor's car blows up with Cameron inside.

The season 2 opening, 'Samson and Delilah' picks up directly afterward, & leads to major developments in the Jameron relationship: the explosion damages Cameron's motherboard-chip, & resurrects her original programming, including the main directive of Skynet: Terminate John Connor. Eventually, John & Sarah take Cameron down - during which she acts more human than she ever has since that first day, & cries out 'I love you, John! I love you and you love me!' Nonetheless, John still takes out her chip - as Cameron herself taught him - but he cleans it... & puts it back, rebooting Cameron, though it means holding a gun on his mother & uncle. At this point, something happens that I really wish the show had explored the implications of: we briefly see through Cameron's eyes, including her heads up display, that shows the command to Terminate John - & then shows Cameron deciding not to. Cameron makes a conscious, self-willed choice, just as Skynet did.

However, the simple, not-quite-easy acceptance John & Cameron had is gone forever, & the full events of that day send John into a major tailspin. As a result, he throws himself into a friendship, then relationship with a girl named Riley. (there's a lot more to it, but it doesn't affect the mix) Cameron spends a great deal of time trying to repair her bond with John, & it's very obvious she's not only wary of Riley but jealous, and it makes her dangerous. Things aren't helped by Cameron's on-going concerns about her own stability, as odd side-effects of the damage to her chip recur more than once through the season. This culminates in the scene shown on the back cover, which is a major building-block in their reconciliation; Cameron implants an explosive charge inside her skull, next to her chip, & gives John the detonation switch, hidden inside a pocket-watch. Let me emphasis this: she puts a bomb into her own brain, then literally puts her life into John's hands. Cameron & John only manage to regain their former closeness very near the end of season 2.

In the season (& series) finale, things have almost literally gone to Hell: Derek is gone, Sarah has been captured by the FBI, who are screaming it to the media (so it's only a matter of time before a Terminator finds her in jail) & John and Cameron are on the run. Hiding out in a seedy motel, Cameron asks John to check on some of her inner mechanics - which involves her stripping to the waist & lying down on the bed with John on top of her! Again, it can't be a coincidence that if you watch this scene without sound, it looks exactly like a pair of teenagers making love for the first time - one losing their virginity, with the one with more experience calmly guiding her new lover through the experience.

In the final scenes of the show, Cameron's chip is taken by another character, who jumps forward into the future again - this time, to the 'current-day' War against Skynet. Minutes later, John makes the decision to leave Sarah to try & stop Judgment Day alone, while he follows in pursuit of the silicon chip that holds Cameron's memories & personality - the soul of the woman he loves.

She is tomorrow, and I am today: a shipper mix for John Connor and Cameron

Weapon – Matthew Good Band
(John and Cam’s love theme. Love can be dangerous – and for these two, that’s something of an understatement!)

Here by my side, you are destruction
Here by my side, a new colour to paint the world
Never turn your back on it
Never turn your back on it, again
Here by my side, it's Heaven

You breathe in and you breathe out
For it ain't so weird
How it makes you a weapon
And you give in
And you give out
For it ain't so weird
How it makes you a weapon

Miss Murder – AFI
(John’s time with Cameron in Red Valley. This gorgeous girl who’s interested in the weird new kid. Who turns out not to be a ‘girl’ after all.)

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I take my life?

With just a look they shook
And heavens bowed before him.
Simply a look can break your heart.

Night terror - Laura Marling
(Cameron is John’s sword and shield)

I woke up and he was screaming
I'd left him dreaming
I roll over and shake him tightly
And whisper, 'if they want you
They're gonna have to fight me'
Oh fight me

My Beloved Monster - The Eels
(No explanation needed, really!)

My beloved monster is tough
If she wants she will disrobe you
But if you lay her down for a kiss
Her little heart it could explode

She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean

Slave to love – Lords of Acid
(Cameron will do whatever John requires, no matter how it could damage her.)
NOTE: This song as a whole deals with a dominant/submissive and sadomasochistic relationship. While there aren’t any swearwords in this song, most of the lyrics should probably be considered NSFW.

You rule. I adore
Use me, use me, abuse me

Make me sing with pain - break me!
Make me go insane - take me!
Make me shout your name - use me!
Use me, abuse me

Over and over – Three Days Grace
(This is against everything he was ever taught. But every time John tries to convince himself it’s just hormones, he fails. The way he feels is real.)

I feel it everyday it's all the same
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything to get away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?

Over and over, over and over
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to

Burning Bridges - Chris Pureka
(John never-spoken attempt to explain to Sarah and Derek how he feels about Cameron. I kept the last line as a reference to life in the tunnels post J-Day.)

This is a story of burning bridges and allowing time to pass
This is a story of forgiveness and breaking things in my hands
This is a story of understanding you can't choose who you love
And this is a story of soft skin and rats in the walls

She is the sunlight – Trading Yesterday
(John/Cameron/Future John – what was she to General Connor, he wonders? Does HE feel the same way about her that he does – but if HE did, how could HE bear to give her up to the currents of time?)

If all the flowers faded away
And if all the storm clouds decided to stay
Then you would find me each hour the same
She is tomorrow and I am today
If loving her is a heartache for me
And if holding her means that I have to bleed
Then I am the martyr and love is to blame
She is the healing and I am the pain
She lives in a daydream where I don't belong
She is the sunlight and the sun is gone

And it will take this life of regret
For my heart to learn to forget
Tomorrow will be as it always has been
And I will fall to her again
For I know I've come too close

Sister – Icehouse
(Cameron’s malfunction in S&D, and John’s defense of her)

There`s something you ought to know
About the latest model
She`s not the usual kind
She`s made of mindless metal
She`s not exactly normal
But I don`t care she`s
Got to be the one
Got to be the two
Got to be the three
Got to be the four

Behind the scanners and tapes
She`s programmed for perfection
But sometimes simple mistakes
Get by without detection
Her figures need correction

There`s something you ought to know
About her calculation
Behind the needles and lights
She hears the faded data
Selects a random sample
The sample says I`ve
Got to be the one
Got to be the two
Got to be the three
Got to be the four

The Girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares – Machine Gun Fellatio
(John’s feelings for Cameron have become so tangled, he can’t cope. Thus, Riley.)

The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares
I found her on tv, now I see her everywhere
She's got style, she's got violent ways about her
She's got me so that I can't dream without her

My ceiling is on fire, my feelings are on fire

Hard to believe you can't get what you're dreamin'
If you try sometimes you might find you get what you steal

The girl of my dreams is giving me nightmares

The Hill – Martika Irglova
(Cameron to John, mid-s2)

Walking up the hill tonight when you have closed your eyes.
I wish I didn't have to make all those mistakes and be wise.
Please try to be patient and know that I'm still learning.
I'm sorry that you have to see the strength inside me burning.

But where are you my angel now?
Don't you see me crying?

And I know that you can't do it all but you can't say I'm not trying.
I'm on my knees in front of him but he doesn't seem to see me.
With all his troubles on his mind he's looking right through me.

Comatose – Skillet
(John can’t hide from his feelings for his cyborg protector anymore. Cameron is what he wants – what he needs)

I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to you

Tell me that you will listen
Your touch is what I'm missing
And the more I hide I realize
I'm slowly losing you

I'll never wake up
Without an overdose of you

I don't wanna live
I don't wanna breathe
Unless I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
(waking up to you never felt so real)
I don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna dream
'cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real

Death to death – Stars
(Cameron in ‘Born to Run’. That incredibly charged scene with John on the bed, then blowing away all the guards at the jail)

I am destroyer I am lover,
I am destroyer I am lover.
I love one thing, destroy the other.
I am destroyer, I am lover.

I am destroyer I am lover
I am destroyer I am lover
Why love one thing and not the other?
I am destroyer I am lover
And when I kiss I like to smother.

Senzafine – Lacuna Coil
(There is no fate but what we make. John finally makes the irrevocable choice – Cameron is the part of his fate that he can’t sacrifice)

Ma adesso ormai che senso ha
Cercare di abbracciare un passato piu puro
Guardando avanti rischierò
Ma riesco a rispondere ai miei perchè

[English translation:]

Now what's the sense
of trying to embrace a purer past
Looking forward I will risk
but I will answer my questions

Tutto ciò che sarai
Era già stato scritto
Se davvero esiste
Questo dio ha fallito

All that you'll be
It was already written
If he truly exists
This God failed

Scorre lento il mio tempo
Quell' ultimo respiro
Mi rassicura sento gia
Agonia senza fine che
Mi hai dato forse no
Non sarei qui

I'm still standing up in this moment
of pure madness
I understand no longer if
I should wish for good or evil
Even if sin maybe gives me more

Ma adesso ormai che senso ha
Opporre resistenza a un destino segnato
Non restero a guardare senza
Riuscire a resisterti

Now what's the sense
of opposing resistance to a settled destiny
I will not be watching without
managing to withstand you
Awake me


Il mio destino scelgo
Se riesco a resistere

My fate choose
if I will resist

Tags: fanmix, tscc
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